‘Our Women’

*you have been forewarned this post delves in the deep abyss of what is called my mind – read if you’re  curious, patient and have a bit of time (get your tea ready :D)

Before I start, I will say this may be a blog about a list of things I’d like to do before I turn 22 but occassionally my thoughts will seep through. Enjoy :D.

So the other day I was having a discussion with my dad and through all the twists and turn we somehow stumbled on the topic of marriage: more specifically, interracial relationships. Now, this topic has come up in discussions with my mum who is always telling me “feel free to marry whoever you like, their flaws will always be theirs regardless of their skin. Their race is the last thing you need to worry about.” I just assumed my father felt the same. So lo and behold my disbelief when he said he didn’t mind a black man with a white woman (because it is something he is used to) BUT he did mind a black woman with a white man.

source: Getty Images

So what’s the difference you ask? There really isn’t one I guess that’s why I had a problem. As much as I tried to probe an answer or reason I couldn’t get one and the baffled look on his face made me realise… he didn’t have one, he didn’t know either. Now do not get me wrong if I came home with a man who was not Nigerian/black my father would happily accept him into the fold because for him me and my sisters’ happiness will ALWAYS come first. But this did lead me to some theories (with some help) and here they are:

  1. Loss of culture

According to an article on Yahoo! News (click here) one reason for the parental uneasiness cited by researchers was fear of a loss of culture. I personally think that this is somewhat of a valid point: maybe parents do worry about the richness of their heritage being blurred, diluted, snuffed out. Maybe they feel like when their daughters marry, this person now becomes the most important in their life and will have a greater influence on their child than their culture ever could. Fear really is the key word here – the extinguishing of culture instead of its embrace.

  1. Crimes of war

Okay, so bare with me on this one. Since the times of the Bible there have been wars and what did the usually do? Take/spare the women and children. Some could say that these people were ‘spoils of war’. A lot of things could happen to these women which led to interracial children which would definitely be seen as more than a little bit awkward. Maybe when it’s ‘their’ women it feels like betrayal; when the woman marries outside their race it’s like sleeping with the enemy O.o…

Fight!!! (source: asqfish.wordpress.com)

  1. Revenge??

Now this is probably the most far-fetched theory out there that couldn’t possibly ring true. Could it?

There is a story of young interracial child whose collarbone was broken after his mother (who is black) was racial abused because he looked mixed race (click here for the article) and if you search the web it is not difficult to find stories like this. Disappointed is not the word *sigh*. Maybe this is how people are getting back at the people by doing the 50s/60s in reverse? Or maybe it’s a sense of inflated pride. ‘Why be with a white man when you can have all of THIS’ *snap* *snap* *snap*. Christelyn Karazin blog – http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/ talks all about the problems faced by ‘black woman/white man’ relationships which really does highlight how much this isn’t a non issue.

Confused or what!!! (source: confused.com)

I’m not a mind reader so I don’t understand people’s reasoning on why they are SOOO against interracial relationships but I can’t help but feel that only good things can come from the merging of different cultures positive aspects. I can only write this from my point of view; the view of a young Nigerian, Black British, somewhat liberal woman. All I can do is speculate.

Thank you for reading *phew*

(this was a bit of a long one ;))


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